Review By Gabrielle
An inspiring take on a self-help book, Unconditional leaves readers with practical tips to live a better life.
Favourite Quote:
Think of it this way: if you expressed this as a math equation, it wouldn’t be “Experience = Outcome.” It would be “Experience x Response = Outcome.” And being able to change your emotional response means you can change the outcome.
Book Synopsis:
In an inspirational, practical self-help book, bestselling author of A Good Wife Samra Zafar weaves together research and personal stories to share how she has broken free of beliefs that held her back, and how readers can too.
After escaping an abusive marriage in her twenties with her two daughters in tow, Samra Zafar thought the biggest challenges she would face would be supporting her family, putting herself through school, working in the corporate world, and rebuilding a support system for herself and her daughters. But she discovered the hardest challenge of all was within her own heart. Her childhood conditioning to criticize her every move paralyzed her from pursuing what she truly wanted, landed her in relationships that held her back rather than lifting her up, and constrained the way she wanted to mother her children. Finally, when she couldn’t take it anymore, she sought help.
In Unconditional, Samra shares everything she has learned, as a woman, physician and mother, about unlearning the harmful beliefs we store deep within ourselves. Through the hard work of digging out past trauma, unpacking faulty ideas that no longer serve you, creating healthier neural pathways, and embracing who you truly want to be, you can learn to love yourself—unconditionally.
Review:
I love a good non-fiction read. I wouldn’t say I’m a big self-help book junkie by any means, but this book intrigued me simply because of who wrote it. Now a doctor, Samra Zafar is an inspiring lady and her first book, A Good Wife was a wonderful (if heartbreaking) read. I was hoping from the description that this book would include some personal reflection like her first book, and I was not disappointed. Combining what she has learned in her medical training, with more memoir-like personal reflections, made this a book that stands out from your typical self-help. Dr. Zafar walks the talk. It’s a refreshing approach that I appreciated.
Like a lot of people navigating the world currently, I too am in therapy at the moment. One topic that I continually struggle with is self compassion. The concept holds a lot of value, but a lot of the work in this field just doesn’t speak to me at all. It’s a little too…soft for me. I prefer a more pragmatic approach. What blew me away about Dr. Zafar’s work is that it actually clicked for me. By including lots of real world examples of how she incorporated her learning into her own life, and being refreshingly honest about her mistakes, she clearly demonstrates how anyone can make it happen.
Each chapter tackles a different aspect of themselves that folks might be struggling with. She starts off by talking about a personal example, then tells us the research around what she was experiencing, breaking down big therapeutic ideas into understandable bites. “Whispered Wisdom” quotes from other women she’s been inspired by are a fun way to include other voices. Each chapter ends with an “Unconditioning Workbook” which summarizes what we’ve learned in the chapter and then gives us space for our own reflection with questions you can fill in. I really enjoyed the format.
Unconditional is part memoir, part self help book that will inspire you to lead a happier, healthier life.
Thank you, HarperCollins Publishers for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
